In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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