I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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