my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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