He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
