I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
