dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I had to cum in my sink.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
