New invention idea: vibrating tampons
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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