I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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