Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
