when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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