Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
