sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize