I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
