I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's like God shit irony all over that family
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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