Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
