So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
