The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
