I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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