She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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