Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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