This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
