its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He has the fingertips of a God
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