You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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