Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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