so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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