In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He passed out mid-signature
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
