Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
