whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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