you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
