did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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