Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
