kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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