She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she told me i tasted like america
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
