I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
