I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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