Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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