it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
