I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize