He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
