I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
