Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
