I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
