How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
