guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize