Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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