Porn is love you can see.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
