can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
