Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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