Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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