Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
