haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
