Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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