Are we in a gay sports bar?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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