I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
