I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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