I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
