5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
