so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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