i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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