my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I will pee on everything he values.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
