the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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