Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
