she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
