The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Bring me that man meat
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
