so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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