these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
