you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
